


In the End

by RedPandaPrincess



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-04-21 07:53:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14280414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedPandaPrincess/pseuds/RedPandaPrincess
Summary: A Post-Endgame fanfic that begins with Seven/Chakotay (but of course turns into J/7).Seven is trying to adapt to life on Earth with her boyfriend but nothing she does seems to be the right thing.





	1. Chapter 1

Seven followed Chakotay deeper into the desert in Arizona, trying to act more confident than she felt. She had been dating the commander for six months – the last four on Earth after Voyager finally made it back from the Delta Quadrant. She'd been living with him since then, doing her best to fit in. 

At Chakotay's encouragement, she'd gotten her first tattoo six weeks ago. He'd given her a plethora of literature and information on tattoos – designs, locations, and their significance to his culture. Seven grimaced as she recalled the experience. His obvious disappointment with her choice. At least she had chosen a spot that was easy to hide. 

She shook her head slightly, pushing it from her mind as she followed Chakotay up a hill. This was her next step in attempting to adapt to her boyfriend's culture. At his insistence, she had taken a few days off from her work for the Daystrom Institute – the only thing in her life she felt she was any good at – to go with him him in an attempt to contact her animal guide. 

Seven wasn't entirely sure she believed in spirit animals but she was willing to try anything to fit in. To please Chakotay. So she had left his home in Phoenix and traveled with him to a small desert village with a Native American name. 

She was only half-listening as Chakotay rattled on about how her animal guide would help her to make important decisions and make her feel more at home on Earth. How she couldn't speak her guide's name aloud or she would offend the creature. How it would be easy and she would feel better once she found her animal guide and spoke to it. 

“Even Kathryn found her spirit guide when we were in the Delta Quadrant,” he said as they continued their trek. 

“Captain Janeway?” Seven said, feeling herself perk up slightly at the mention of their captain. 

_Former captain_ , she reminded herself. Kathryn Janeway had taken a leave of absence from Starfleet shortly after their return to the Alpha Quadrant. 

“Yes. Our first year in the Delta Quadrant she asked me to help her make contact with her animal guide. I think it helped her.”

“She did not have difficulty locating her guide?”

“No and neither will you,” he assured. “Especially here.”

Seven felt a renewed sense of determination to find her spirit guide. The captain believed in spirit guides, believed they could help. If Captain Janeway could find her spirit guide, so could she. 

“Where is 'here'?” Seven inquired, clasping her hands behind her back as she looked around. 

They were on top of a large hill with nothing but sand for miles around. In the distance she could just barely see the village from which they'd come. 

“This is a burial mound, constructed by our ancestors thousands of years ago. They're used for various religious and ceremonial purposes,” Chakotay explained. 

“Your ancestors,” she corrected without thinking. 

She didn't miss the slight frown that crossed his face and felt a stab of regret at her comment. 

“It's almost sunset. The perfect time for this ceremony,” Chakotay said, sitting in the dirt. Seven sat in front of him and tried to concentrate as he spread his medicine bundle between them. 

“I've only shown this to one other person,” he said as he unfolded the animal skin. 

“The captain?” Seven guessed, feeling her heart rate increase slightly. 

“Yes. Now eventually you'll have to assemble your own medicine bundle but for now I can assist you in your quest for a guide. A blackbird's wing...a stone from the river. An Akoonah. In the past, our ancestors – my ancestors – used psychoactive herbs to assist in vision quests. Now, we have more modern ways of doing things. Place your hand on the Akoonah and concentrate on the stone.”

Seven placed her Borg hand on the device but noticed a shadow cross Chakotay's face. He hadn't outright scorned her implants since they'd been together, but they were something he avoided. Seven quickly switched hands, clenching her metal-encased hand against her thigh. She tried to clear her mind and concentrate on the dark gray stone lying on the tanned skin. 

“A-koo-chee-moy-a,” Chakotay began softly. “We are here in the sacred place of our grandfathers. We are here with the bones of our people.”

_ Your people_ , Seven thought but did not interrupt his soft chant. 

“Allow your eyes to close,” he said and Seven obeyed. “Breathe to fuel the light in your belly, breathe in the sun, let it expand until the light is everywhere. Prepare yourself to leave this place, and return to where you were the most content and peaceful you have ever been. You can see all around you and hear the sounds of this place...”

For a long time Seven's mind was blank. She concentrated on her breathing, on the feeling of the hot sun on her skin, the air as she drew it into her lungs. Slowly, an image began to form. Lush green plant life, a blue sky with puffy white clouds, a river coming off of an ocean. 

“I know where I am,” Seven breathed, inhaling the familiar scent of the ocean. She could hear birds chirping. 

“You must not tell me where you are,” Chakotay's voice warned but she did not see him. 

_Unimatrix Zero_ , she thought, feeling a warmth spread through her as she looked around. 

“As you look, you will become aware of other life in this place. Your guide will be the first animal you see.”

Seven looked around scrutinously but saw nothing. She knelt and searched the grass. Perhaps it would be a small creature of a bug. Suddenly, she heard a sound. She looked up in time to see something disappear in the bushes. 

_ Could that be-? _

Seven leapt up and dashed after the creature. She could hear the sound of whatever it was bounding through the forest, but she could not identify it. She ran faster, feeling an overwhelming sense of urgency. As irrational as it was, she felt she had to catch up. This creature would help her, would make everything that was wrong in her world be right again. 

_If I can just catch up_...

Seven ran faster, but skidded to a halt as the forest ended and she found herself near the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean. A figure stood at the precipice with their back to her, but Seven would have recognized that shade of auburn hair anywhere. 

“Captain,” she said, but no sound came out. 

Kathryn Janeway turned to face her, wearing a white dress and a smile the likes of which Seven had never seen. She felt a rush of emotion she couldn't identify as the captain continued to smile, her gray eyes warm and calm as the still sea behind her. 

“Seven,” Janeway said, taking a step towards her. “Seven...”

But her voice changed. The vision shimmered and Seven opened her eyes with a quiet gasp to find herself on the dark hilltop with Chakotay. The sun had set, stars were out, and Seven felt an odd pain in her chest. She had the distinct sensation of something being ripped away. 

“Seven? Did you find your animal guide?” Chakotay asked, taking her hand and squeezing it. She heard the excitement in his voice and did not want to disappoint him again. 

“Yes. I did,” she lied. 

“I knew you could,” he said and pulled her into an embrace. Seven rested her chin on his shoulder, trying to draw comfort from him. In the darkness, Chakotay did not notice the tear slide down her face. 

That night she copulated with Chakotay for the 116th time and for the 116th time her body failed to respond to sexual stimulation. He blamed her Borg implants but Seven wasn't sure that was the case. Still in the last few months she'd learned to please him. While he did what he wanted, she made the noises of encouragement she knew would please him, but her mind was a million miles away. She thought of her vision. How could Janeway be her animal guide? Simple – she could not. 

_ I have failed in this just as I have failed in so many other areas of humanity,  _ she thought miserably. _ My choice of tattoo, my inability to become sexually aroused.  _

Chakotay finished his task with a grunt and rolled off of her. Seven let out an inaudible sigh. She cringed inwardly as Chakotay pulled her into a sweaty embrace. 

“Still nothing?” he said, kissing her neck. 

“I am sorry,” she said stoically, trying to push down the guilt and sadness she felt. 

“Don't be sorry, Annika, it isn't your fault,” he murmured. She flinched at the use of her human designation. He had taken to doing that the last few months, despite her protests. 

'Maybe you should talk to the Doctor,” he continued. “Maybe he could help. Remove something or adjust an implant.”

“Maybe,” she said softly but she knew there was nothing the Doctor could do. Her body was capable of becoming aroused – she knew that from when the Doctor's program had been downloaded into her cybernetic matrix. He had become sexually aroused when an alien woman gave her a massage. So she knew what arousal felt like, even if she had not experienced it herself. 

_ It is me, _she thought unhappily _._ _A psychological malfunction. It is my own fault_. 

When Chakotay began to snore, she squirmed free of his grasp. She slipped out of bed and took a quick shower, knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep with the sticky feeling of his sweat on her skin. When she finished her shower and returned to bed, Chakotay had rolled over and was snoring even louder. She shook her head slightly before laying down beside him. She rolled to her side, away from him, and closed her eyes to sleep. 

In the darkness of a dream,. Seven felt hands on her body. Small, soft hands, not Chakotay's. Stroking her skin gently, caressing her Borg implants in a way Chakotay refused to. She felt safe and warm and happy. A scent overwhelmed her, one she recognized instantly from her time aboard Voyager. Specifically her time along with the captain. A time when she felt happy. Loved. The scent of her skin was just as recognizable as her auburn hair. 

Seven woke with a jolt and sat straight up in bed. Her mind cleared and suddenly she knew what she needed to do. Where she needed to go. 

“Annika? What's wrong?” Chakotay asked groggily as she got up. 

“My vision. I did not see an animal,” she said quickly, feeling a twinge of guilt for having lied. 

“Oh. Don't worry, baby, we can try-”

“I saw a person.”

Chakotay sat up, his eyes growing wide. 

“A person? That's...well, it's not unheard of. The presence of a person in a vision is highly significant. It may offend the spirits if you tell me who you saw, but...I think I know,” he said.

“I have to go,” she said as she got dressed, putting on one of her biosuits which she had not worn in months. She had not worn them because she wanted so desperately to fit in with Chakotay's culture. She was no longer interested in fitting in. 

“I know,” Chakotay said, giving her a small, sad smile. 

She paused and gazed at him. She did not mean to hurt him. He had been a good friend to her. 

“I am sorry,” she said finally, not sure what else she could say. 

“It's okay,” he said. “I just want you to be happy.”

Happy...

The word resonated in her and she felt the same overwhelming sense of urgency she'd felt when chasing the captain in her vision. 

“I have to go...”


	2. Chapter 2

Kathryn Janeway sat up with a gasp, her body soaked in sweat from yet another nightmare. It was not the first nightmare of its kind. They'd started on Voyager, a few months after she'd first brought Seven aboard. It always started the same – her and Seven, alone. Innocent at first, them on the holodeck, teaching her to paint, to play Velocity...then the dreams turned more...carnal in nature. And they always ended the same – them being interrupted by the ship being overrun with Borg, Hirogen, or some other godawful species from the Delta Quadrant. 

Kathryn shuddered as she recalled seeing her ship being torn apart at the seams. Seven's lifeless, nude form floating before her in the vacuum of space. She groaned and slid out of bed, trying to force the image from her mind. 

She was wearing a red satin pajama set – a gift from her sister Phoebe, who was traveling in France. She'd invited Kathryn to come along, but she'd refused. Kathryn pulled a cotton robe on for extra warmth and headed downstairs, knowing that trying to sleep now would be futile. 

She headed into the kitchen and was surprised to find her mother standing at the stove in her pink housecoat. 

“Mom? What are you doing up? What time is it?” Kathryn asked, yawning slightly. 

“Making tea,” Gretchen answered with a smile. “And it's 4 a.m. Or round about.”

“Wha- oh,” she said, comprehension dawning on her. “I woke you again? I'm sorry, Mom.”

It wasn't the first time her screams from her nightmares had woken her mother. She felt a rush of guilt. 

“It's okay, Kitten. I just wish you'd talk to someone – if not me, somebody else.”

Kathryn didn't say anything but pulled out a chair and sat down at the kitchen table. 

_Maybe I should go back to San Francisco,_ she thought, but shook her head slightly. She definitely didn't want to be alone. Especially in her old apartment with so many memories and nothing to distract her from her nightmares. 

Gretchen came up behind her and put one hand on her shoulder. She set a cup of tea in front of her and put her other hand on Kathryn's shoulder. 

“I love you, Kitten, but you need someone to talk to,” Gretchen said, kissing the top of her head. 

“I love you, too, Mom. I'm going to take my tea to the front porch. You should go back to bed,” she said, sliding her chair back and picking up the mug of tea. Gretchen gave her a sad smile which Kathryn returned before heading outside. 

Kathryn sat on the front porch swing, idly swinging back and forth, sipping the chamomile tea her mother had made. She smiled slightly, wishing it were coffee. She sighed and looked up. The only light came from the yellow porch light and the stars. The stars...

Kathryn's skin broke out in goosebumps as she remembered her nightmare. Seven's lifeless body among the stars. She shook her head, trying to clear the image. 

_ Seven is fine. She's here on Earth. She's with Chakotay... _

Somehow this didn't make her feel any better. 

Kathryn didn't know when her feelings for the young woman had evolved beyond friendship. She had done a good job of hiding it, convinced herself her feelings would fade...but when she'd first heard Seven was dating Chakotay, it had been like a punch to the gut. 

And when the Admiral said that, in her timeline, Seven had married Chakotay. That Seven had died... Well it was clear to Kathryn what she _hadn't_ said. That she'd never gotten over her death. So much so that she'd broken who knows how many directives to come back in time. To save Seven. Getting the ship home faster, destroying the Borg Queen, well that had been icing on the cake.

But she'd let Seven go. When she saw Seven and Chakotay walk off Voyager together, holding hands, smiling...she couldn't tell her. It seemed obvious – Seven loved Chakotay. Seven was happy. And that was more important than anything. 

She had exchanged a few messages with them at first. Keeping things professional. She knew they were living in Arizona and Seven was working for the Daystrom Institute. 

But she'd found it difficult to continue the mundane communications and she'd taken her love of absence from Starfleet, she left her computer in San Francisco and headed to Bloomington, Indiana. 

The sound of a whippoorwill startled Kathryn from her reverie. The sound of birds signaled the approach of dawn and she decided to exchange her now-cold tea for some hot, black coffee. She tiptoed inside and was relieved to find her mother had gone back to bed. 

Kathryn quickly set the coffee pot to brew. She poured out her half-empty mug of tea and rinsed it out. When she coffee was done, she poured a thermos full and headed back outside. After a moment's thought, she slipped on her shoes that were by the door. Walking in the woods behind their house had always made her feel better. It was still dark out, but she wasn't worried. That was nothing on Earth that could scare her. 

Kathryn walked the well-worn path through the trees, sipping her coffee. It was way better than the replicated stuff she'd had on Voyager. The hot coffee, the familiar smell of the woods in the cool morning air, brought some modicum of comfort to her. A white-tail deer darted across the path in front of her. 

Kathryn froze. The deer froze. A doe, with big, brown eyes. 

“Hello there, pretty girl,” Kathryn said softly, smiling. “Are you having a good morning?”

The doe flicked her ear and dipped her head slightly, almost as if she were nodding. Kathryn chuckled slightly. The deer's black nose twitched and with a flick of her tail she continued into the woods. 

Kathryn sipped her coffee and listened to the doe prance away through the underbrush. She found herself smiling, an action that had become so rare it felt alien to her. She continued down the path through the woods. The sky had lightened but she couldn't see the sun over the tall trees. Along the path, white and purple flowers were opening their petals. 

_Morning glories,_ she recalled, but wasn't sure if that was their real name or just what her mother called them. 

Eventually the trees thinned and the path ended at the edge of a pond. She could see the sun coming up over the trees on the other side. She remembered Saturday mornings spent fishing with her father and Phoebe. A gust of wind blew through the cattails at the edge of the water as she approached and another smile ghosted across her lips. 

' _Ugly corn dogs_ ' Phoebe had always called them. 

Kathryn stood at the edge of the water for a while, watching the sun rise, watching the ripples on the surface of the water. It was a peaceful morning but Kathryn still felt uneasy. 

_ Maybe I should take Phoebe up on her offer,  _ she thought wistfully _.  Maybe a change of pace would help.  _

_Maybe you should talk to someone_ , chimed her mother's voice in her head. 

She quickly pushed the thought away. Upon their return to Earth, Starfleet had insisted she meet with a Betazoid counselor. She'd made it through three sessions but when the woman tried to get her to open up about her feelings for Seven, she'd walked out. She'd taken her leave of absence right after that. 

Kathryn lingered at the pond a while longer, then turned to head back up the path...and stopped short when she saw Seven standing there, watching her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued!
> 
> Don't forget to comment y'all, I'm still only human and need the encouragement! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short update but an update nonetheless. Thanks for all the feedback!

A bolt of fear shot through Kathryn as she recalled her nightmares. Seven's brow furrowed and she came down the hill in her blue biosuit, her blonde hair gleaming in the rising sun. Kathryn swallowed, half-convinced she was a hallucination. 

_Lack of sleep is finally catching up to me,_ she thought. 

“Captain,” Seven said, her beautiful face marred by a slight frown. 

“Seven,” Kathryn said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Are you really here?”

Seven nodded and stopped when she reached where Kathryn stood rooted to the spot. Still not convinced, Kathryn lifted her hand to touch Seven's cheek. 

Her skin was soft. Warm. Seven's blue eyes closed and she pressed her cheek into Kathryn's hand. Kathryn inhaled deeply as she felt her heart beat faster. She swallowed again and dropped her hand. Seven's blazing eyes opened. 

“What are you doing here, Seven?” she asked softly. “Is...Chakotay with you?”

“No. I am alone. I...” Seven clasped her hands behind her back and looked out over the pond. “It is very beautiful here.”

Kathryn followed her gaze out over the sparkling water. A bird swooped low, dipping it's feet into the water, sending up a spray of droplets. 

“It is,” she agreed, then looked back to Seven. “Seven...why are you here?”

Seven looked down to her feet, displaying a hesitation she'd never shown on Voyager. Kathryn was overcome with the urge to embrace her, but didn't. 

“I have not been adapting to life on Earth, Captain.”

“Call me Kathryn, Seven. I'm not your captain anymore.”

“Does that mean...you can be my friend, Kathryn?”

“I've always been your friend, Seven,” she said and Seven finally looked up at her with something unreadable in her gaze. “Tell me what's wrong, Seven.”

“I failed to adapt to Chakotay's culture, failed to...but that is irrelevant. I had a dream – a vision. A vision then a dream. Chakotay encouraged me to contact my spirit guide.”

“Your animal guide?” Kathryn said, recalling her own experience finding the little gecko who was her guide. 

“Yes.”

“But you didn't find your animal?”

“No, Kathryn. I had a vision but I did not find an animal...I found you.”

“M-me? You saw me in your vision?” Kathryn asked, surprised. 

“Yes. Standing at the edge of a cliff in Unimatrix Zero. You turned to me. Said my name...Then I was back in the desert with Chakotay and I felt...lost.”

“W...What did Chakotay say about your vision?” she asked, feeling like her heart was pounding in her throat. 

“I lied to him at first, told him I saw an animal. But last night...”

“You had a dream?”

“Yes. About you.”

“What happened in your dream?”

Seven didn't answer but met her gaze. There was a burning look in her blue eyes that made Kathryn's insides turn to liquid.

“What did Chakotay say when you told him?” she asked. 

“I did not tell him about the dream. He said that the presence of an individual in a vision quest is highly significant and...he told me I could leave. He said he wants me to be happy.”

“So you came here?” Kathryn murmured. 

Seven nodded and Kathryn felt a whirlwind of emotions overwhelm her. She walked over to lean back against the nearest tree and Seven followed her. 

“Seven...I don't know if I can make you happy. I can't even make myself-”

Seven closed the distance between them and silenced her with a kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

Seven could feel her heart racing as she closed the distance between them and kissed her. Their lips met slowly at first and she gave Kathryn every opportunity to pull away. But she didn't. Instead the auburn-haired woman made a sound that sent a rush of fire through Seven – a low moan that came from somewhere deep inside of her. 

It was Kathryn who deepened the kiss. Seven felt the smaller woman's arm slip around her, pulling her close. When their tongues met Seven felt fire rush through her again and settle low in her abdomen. She'd never felt anything like this before. 

Acting on a primal instinct, she put her arms around Kathryn, pinning her back against the tree. She wedged her leg between Kathryn's as they continued to kiss. She could feel Kathryn's short fingernails through her biosuit, pulling her closer, almost desperately. 

Finally, Kathryn pulled away from the kiss, gasping for breath, but continued to cling to her. 

“Seven,” she gasped, leaning her forehead against hers. “...This can't be real. It has to be a dream. Another nightmare.”

Seven didn't miss the look of fear that crossed Kathryn's face – a look she'd never seen before and had now seen twice today. 

“You have nightmares about kissing me?” Seven asked, starting to pull away. 

“Y-no! No, they don't start out as nightmares,” Kathryn said and Seven felt a tremor go through the smaller woman. 

Seven released her and kissed her forehead. Kathryn's eyes were on the ground, not looking at her. 

“Tell me about them,” Seven said softly. 

She'd meant it as a question but it came out a command. 

“They start out...wonderful. These dreams...more than I ever imagined. They started on Voyager, dreams of you and I...”

Kathryn's face flushed and she still wouldn't look at her. Seven touched her chin gently with her Borg hand and tilted her face up. 

“Tell me,” Seven said quietly. 

“Dreams of us k-kissing and...”

“Copulating?”

Kathryn nodded sharply, her blush deepening. 

“I have had similar dreams,” Seven admitted. 

“I never thought – I mean...I would have told you, but you were with Chakotay. You seemed...happy.”

“What happens in your nightmares, Kathryn?”

“We're interrupted. By the Borg or the Hirogen or some other horrible species from that godforsaken quadrant...and you're killed or assimilated and the ship is torn apart.”

Seven saw tears in Kathryn's gray eyes before she closed them, shaking her head. The raw emotion surprised her, from the starship captain who had seemed indomitable. The woman who had faced the Borg, faced assimilation, faced death, without fear...was scared of losing her. 

Seven took Kathryn's face in both her hands. She kissed her forehead again and waited until Kathryn opened her eyes to meet her gaze.

“That will not happen, Kathryn,” Seven said, softly but firmly. “We are far from the Delta Quadrant. And I am not going anywhere...so long as you'll have me.”

“Oh Seven...”

Kathryn pulled her close and their lips met again. 

“I've wanted you with me every moment since we reached Earth. I wanted you to come home with me, to meet my mother, to see Indiana like I promised...but you seemed happy without me.”

“I was attempting to adapt. On Voyager I began dating the Commander because I believed it would help me mingle with the crew...that people would like me more if I was part of a...couple. And on Earth...i thought I could adapt, but I experienced...difficulties. I was not happy. However...I am here now.”

“You are,” Kathryn said, a smile spreading across her face. “I'm happy you're here, Seven. I've really missed you.”

“And I missed you. When I saw you in my vision, I realized I felt as if something were missing from me. And that something was you.”

Kathryn hugged her tightly, a smile still on her face. It made Seven feel pleasantly warm and she couldn't help but smile back. 

“We should go back to the house,” Kathryn said, taking Seven's Borg hand in hers, lacing their fingers together. “Mom will be waking up and I don't want her to worry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay everyone but thanks to my girlfriend SevenOfMine for pestering me to write and not procrastinate lol 
> 
> Hope to update again soon!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is taking so long - for some reason writing this isn't coming as easy as it should. But I spent the evening of my birthday writing, after spending three amazing days with my girlfriend SevenOfMine at the beach. :)

Kathryn still felt like she was dreaming as she walked hand in hand with Seven down the path back to her mother's house. 

_ I'm in my pajamas, holding hands with the most beautiful woman in the Universe, and taking her home with me,  _ she thought, unable to stop smiling _.  If this is a dream, I hope I never wake up.  _

“What if your mother does not like me?” Seven said as they got closer to the house. 

“She will,” Kathryn assured, squeezing her hand, enjoying the feel of the warm metal against her palm. “Mother likes everyone. ...It's not like you to voice your worries so readily.”

“Worried? I am not. I just...I did not fit in with Chakotay's family and friends in Arizona,” she said, sounding hesitant. “I did not live up to his expectations. Despite my best efforts I could not adapt to his culture.”

“You don't have to fit in, Seven, just be yourself,” Kathryn encouraged. “I love you just the way you are.”

Seven stopped short and so did Kathryn when she realized what she'd just said. She looked at Seven, nervous about how she'd react, but a wide smile spread over Seven's face, making her look even more beautiful than she already was.

“Kathryn, I-”

“There you are!” Gretchen called, interrupting Seven.

They both looked up to see her mother standing on the porch, waving. She felt Seven squeeze her hand slightly and she gave her a reassuring smile as they continued towards the house. 

“Who've you got with you? I saw the shuttle out front,” Gretchen said as they approached. 

“Shuttle?” Kathryn repeated. 

“How did you think I got here?” Seven said with a small smile. 

Kathryn shrugged. She hadn't really considered it. She still wasn't convinced it wasn't all a dream.

“Mom, this is Seven of Nine,” Kathryn said as they walked up the steps together. “Seven, this is my mother, Gretchen.”

Kathryn didn't miss the way her mom's eyes lingered on their clasped hands. She surveyed Seven briefly before speaking. 

“Nice to officially meet you,” Gretchen said, extending her hand for Seven to shake. 

“Nice to meet you, Mrs Janeway,” Seven said, shaking Gretchen's hand with her human one. 

“I saw you at the parade on the arm of that Indian man,” Gretchen said, her eyebrow slightly raised. 

“My First Officer, Chakotay,” Kathryn provided. 

“Is he with you?”

“No,” Seven said, clasping her hands behind her back as she was prone to do. “Things...did not work out between us.”

“Oh?” Gretchen said in a curious tone.

“Mom,” Kathryn said, exasperated. “...Seven's going to stay with us for a while. If that's okay, I mean.”

“Of course. It'll be good for you to have a friend around. I'll make up the guest room.”

There was a brief, awkward silence. Kathryn glanced at Seven, remembering the kiss they'd shared. She knew there was no way Seven would be staying in the guest room. She cleared her throat and looked back to her mother. 

“I could use some coffee, Mom, you want some?”

“Let me make it, Kitten. Y'all go on into the living room and have a seat. You drink coffee, Seven?”

Kathryn expected her to decline and was surprised when Seven said “yes, please” very politely. 

“I didn't know you liked coffee,” Kathryn said as she led Seven into the living room. 

“I like the way it smells,” she replied, sitting beside her on the couch. “When we got to Earth...it reminded me of you.”

“Seven,” she murmured, reaching out to touch her face. Seven turned her head to kiss Kathryn's palm. 

“I do not wish to sleep in the guest room, Kathryn,” Seven said in a low tone that sent a shiver through the smaller woman. 

“I don't intend for you to,” she said, her voice throaty. “...I just didn't know what to say to Mom.”

“She calls you 'Kitten'?”

“Mm. A nickname from my childhood.”

“It is cute,” she said, pressing another kiss to her palm. “It suits you.”

“Seven, do you take cream and sugar?” Gretchen asked and Kathryn quickly dropped her hand from Seven's face as her mother stuck her head in the room. She felt a stab of guilt, like she'd been caught doing something bad. 

_ Ridiculous,  _ she admonished herself. _ You're a grown woman, not some teenager caught necking in the barn.  _

“No ma'am, I drink it black,” Seven replied evenly. 

“Black it is,” Gretchen said, stepping back into the kitchen. 

As Gretchen brought the coffee in, Kathryn was remembering the boy her Dad caught her kissing when she was 16, and imagining it was Seven instead. A plan half-formed in her mind when her mom handed her a mug of coffee. She took a deep drink before speaking. 

“I'm going to get dressed and show Seven around the farm,” Kathryn said, standing up. “I'll be right back.”


	6. Chapter 6

Seven watched with some trepidation as Kathryn left the room. She sipped her coffee, enjoying the taste. She hadn't liked coffee the first time she'd tried it on Voyager. But on Earth she'd found herself drawn to the kitchen whenever Chakotay brewed a pot. Eventually she'd come to like the strong, bitter drink. 

“So,” Gretchen said once Kathryn was gone. “What are your intentions with my daughter?”

Seven swallowed quickly, the hot liquid burning her throat slightly. 

“Ma'am?” she asked, not sure she understood the question. 

“Kathryn has been through a lot over the years. I don't want her getting hurt,” the older Janeway said, her voice stern. 

“I would never hurt the captain!” she said, affronted. “I would never hurt Kathryn.”

She closed her Borg hand against her thigh. She was stronger than the average human, without a doubt, but she knew she could never hurt Kathryn. 

“I don't mean physically, dear. Lord knows Kathryn can hold her own. I'm talking about emotionally,” Gretchen said, leaning forward, lowering her voice slightly. “She's had a rather difficult time since she made it home.”

Seven hesitated slightly before answering. 

“Is it true my emotional development is somewhat flawed. Being raised by Borg...I sometimes find it difficult to understand certain things. But I know that Kathryn's happiness is – and has always been – very important to me. If you think my being here will cause her distress, I would leave now.”

Gretchen shook her head and took a sip of her coffee. 

“She seems happy to have you here – I haven't seen her smile like that in years. But the man you were with, you weren't with him very long, were you? Who's to say you won't leave Kathryn just as quickly?”

“I would never!” she declared vehemently, then softened her tone. “...I love Kathryn. I am sorry I did not realize it sooner. But I would never hurt her, nor allow anyone else to. I love her.”

Gretchen nodded, seeming satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna try to keep writing and (maybe) finish this up in the next few days!


	7. Chapter 7

Seven sat drinking coffee with Gretchen for several minutes, but turned her head when she heard Kathryn's footsteps on the stairs. When she stepped into the living room, Seven felt her her heart rate increase by 15%. Kathryn was dressed differently than she'd ever seen her. She wore a white cotton dress, cut low in the front, revealing more of her freckled chest than Seven had ever seen before. The dress came down to her mid-calf and she wore brown boots made of some sort of leather. 

Seven stood automatically when Kathryn entered the room. When their eyes met, she noticed Kathryn's cheeks blush faintly. 

“Come for a walk with me, Seven,” she said, and something about the timbre of her voice sent an involuntary tingle down Seven's spine. Before she had a chance to explore the phenomenon, she found herself walking towards Kathryn. 

“Thank you for the coffee Mrs Janeway,” Seven said, recalling her manners as she started to follow Kathryn out. 

“Call me Gretchen, dear, and you're welcome. I'll take your cup if you're done.”

“Thank you, Gretchen.”

Seven followed Kathryn out of the house and down the front steps. She hardly paid attention to where they were going. Instead she found herself entranced by the way the fabric of Kathryn's dress swished around her calves as she moved...the way she could almost see through it when they stepped into the sunlight, and realizing just how much she wanted to see what was beneath it. 

“What did you and Mom talk about?” Kathryn asked, slowing down to walk beside her, slipping her hand into Seven's. 

“She is concerned about you, concerned for your well being,” she answered, caressing the back of her hand with her thumb. 

“She always is. That's what mother's do,” she replied, smiling a rueful smile. “...My nightmares have been waking her. I thought about going back to my apartment in San Francisco...”

“Why didn't you?” Seven asked, tilting her head as she looked at her. 

“Too many memories and...I didn't want to be alone. When I come downstairs and mom is in the kitchen, just seeing her reassures me that it was all just a bad dream.”

“I will be there,” Seven said, slowing to a stop and pulling Kathryn to her. “From now on, wherever you are, whenever you wake up...I will be there. As long as you want me.”

“Oh my Seven,” Kathryn murmured, her gray eyes shining with warmth. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed her. When she wrapped her arms around her and their bodies pressed together, Seven could feel the way Kathryn's heart was racing in her chest. As the kiss deepened, she could taste the tang of coffee and felt the tingle down her spine again. 

Then Kathryn pulled away, but she was smiling, a bright look in her eyes. She took Seven's hand in hers again and tugged at her. 

“Come on,” she said breathlessly. 

“Where are we going?” Seven asked, following her willingly. 

“Just come on,” she sad and laughed – a sound Seven had rarely heard, but loved immensely. Kathryn began to run, kicking up dust in her cowgirl boots. Seven quickened her pace to keep up so she wouldn't have to let go of her hand. 

They passed through a group of white and red birds that clucked as they fluttered out of the way. 

Gallus gallus domesticus – chickens. Native to the planet Earth in Sector 001, Seven's cortical node identified. 

Kathryn's laughter rang in her ears and made her feel pleasantly warm all over as they continued to run. She finally slowed down as they approached a dilapidated wooden structure. Seven quirked her ocular implant curiously as Kathryn led her towards it.

“My grandfather used to keep horses here,” Kathryn said, sliding open the wooden door. “This old barn was my whole world when I was a kid, before I got older and life got so serious...”

Dust swirled in the air as they stepped inside the barn. The air smelled a bit stale, but it wasn't totally unpleasant. Sunlight filtered in through high windows and a few holes in the roof. Seven looked around curiously at the empty stalls and the piles of forgotten junk in the corners of the room. When she looked back, Kathryn was climbing an old wooden ladder. 

“Kathryn, that does not appear to be safe-”

“Lighten up, Seven. I used to spend hours up here,” she said, disappearing up the ladder. 

“Doing what?” Seven asked, cautiously placing one foot on the ladder, seeing if it would hold her weight. 

“Well when I was younger I brought all my dolls and toys up here. I used to take naps in the hay.”

“I don't see any hay,” Seven said, hauling herself up into the loft to sit beside Kathryn. 

“There hasn't been any in ages. Besides, when I got to be a little older, I discovered a much more stimulating use for the hay loft.”

Seven was about to ask what she meant when Kathryn crawled over to her and kissed her. 

The kiss was scorching and for several minutes, Seven could not think. She became dimly aware of Kathryn moving to straddle her lap without breaking the kiss. Her hands found Kathryn's legs, smooth and bare. Fascinated by the feel of the soft skin, she slid her hands up the back of her thighs, under her dress. Kathryn groaned into the kiss and when Seven's hands found her ass, she ground herself against her lap. Seven could feel heat between Kathryn's thighs. She gripped her waist and pulled her harder against her, wanting to feel more. 

Kathryn's hands were on her shoulders, then suddenly around her neck trying to undo the clasp of her biosuit. 

“Kathryn,” Seven gasped, breaking the kiss. “You should know I- I've never-” she took a deep breath before continuing. “My body has always failed to respond to sexual stimulation.”

“What?” Kathryn said, her breathing heavy. “You- oh.”

Seven took in the sight before her as Kathryn tried to catch her breath. Her lips were swollen from kissing, her cheeks flushed, pupils dilated. Seven could still feel the heat of Kathryn's arousal through the fabric of her biosuit and she felt a tightening in her lower abdomen. 

“We don't have to-” Kathryn began, starting to move off of her. 

“No!” Seven protested immediately, keeping a firm grip on her waist. “I want to. I want _you_ , Kathryn...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, i know. I'm a tease. But I'm fighting a headache tonight and I should be working on the changes my editor requested in my novel. Wishing my own SevenOfMine was here to make me focus (but let's face it, if she were here I wouldn't be writing lol)
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and stuff! You guys rock!


	8. Chapter 8

Kathryn's mind was racing but then Seven's lips descended on hers again. She started to protest, she had questions, but then Seven flipped her over. She was on her back in the dusty hayloft and Seven's hands were under her dress. Her mind swam as her body reacted, eager to be touched. 

_ It's been so long,_ she thought as her hips arched into Seven's touch _. SO damn long since anyone has touched me..._

Seven's hands moved down her waist, then around to the inside of her thighs, sending shivers through her. Seven continued to kiss her but she couldn't think to kiss back as she felt Seven's metal-encased hand stroke her through her cotton panties. She felt a flood of moisture as Seven cupped her mound and she groaned into the kiss. Seven's hand stroked her, then one finger hooked inside the leg of her panties and pulled them down. She lifted her hips to assist in their removal. She could feel her heart pounding hard in her chest but she didn't protest as Seven broke the kiss and moved down her body. Nor did she protest when she pushed her dress up and placed several soft, open-mouthed kisses to her inner thigh. 

Kathryn couldn't help the whimper that escaped her lips. Part of her wanted to tell Seven to stop, that she didn't have to do this...but a much larger part of her _never_ wanted her to stop. 

She felt Seven's breath on her hot, wet sex just a moment before her mouth made contact with her most sensitive place. She gasped and moaned as Seven's tongue probed her. Then she felt those metal-tipped fingers, smooth as silk, gently parting her folds. When Seven's mouth closed over her clit, Kathryn let out a cry so loud her mother probably heard it. 

Seven's tongue danced skillfully over her clit until she was so close she felt like she was going to explode. She looked down at Seven's blonde head between her thighs. At that moment Seven raised her head just enough to look up at her, without breaking the contact with her sex. It was the look of lust in those sky blue eyes that finally pushed Kathryn over the edge. Her hips bucked into Seven's eager mouth as she came with a loud, drawn out cry. 

As the waves of pleasure subsided, Kathryn realized she had tears in her eyes. She blinked them away and pulled at Seven, needing to kiss her. Seven complied, moving up her body to kiss her passionately. Kathryn put her arms around her, but then Seven was pulling away. Kathryn was momentarily confused as she stood up, crouched in the small space, but then Seven was peeling off her biosuit. 

As Seven's body was revealed, Kathryn felt as if her heart stopped. Her skin was pale and perfect, the scattered Borg implants only added to her beauty. Her breasts were full, her pale pink nipples hard. Kathryn ached to touch her, but with what Seven had said before, she wasn't sure she'd want her to.

“I need to feel you,” Seven explained as she stepped out of her biosuit and heels. 

Lust flared in Kathryn at her words and she sat up eagerly, pulling her dress off over her head. She was pulling off her cowgirl boots when she caught a glimpse of something unexpected. 

“What's that?” she asked Seven. “On your backside?”

“Hm? Oh,” Seven said, glancing over her shoulder and turning around so Kathryn could see. “My tattoo.”

On Seven's left butt cheek, right below the metal band of a Borg implant, the letters **NCC - 74656** were tattooed in black ink. 

“Voyager's registration number,” Kathryn said, unable to help the smile that spread over her face. 

“Yes. Chakotay explained the significance of tattoos in his culture and encouraged me to get one. He was, I believe, disappointed in my choice. He did not understand,” Seven said, shaking her head slightly. 

“I understand,” Kathryn said softly, reaching for her hand. “My sweet, sweet Seven...Come here.”

Seven knelt willingly and Kathryn pulled her close for a kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least one more chapter coming (soon i hope).
> 
> Also if any of you are artists or know artists pleeease i am dying for a picture of Seven with Voyager's registration number tatted on her ass.


	9. Chapter 9

Seven already knew this experience was different, unlike anything she'd ever experienced before. She'd always done her best to please the captain, but pleasing _Kathryn_ in this way was more satisfying than any of her work aboard Voyager. She'd done her best to appease Chakotay but she'd never really enjoyed it. Not like this. 

Kathryn moved her mouth from Seven's lips down her jaw. She inhaled sharply as she felt Kathryn's mouth on her skin, licking and kissing her. Then her lips trailed farther down her neck, sucking at a spot just above her collarbone that sent a rush of heat through her body. 

_This is very stimulating_ , Seven thought as she realized her body was actually responding. It was as if every part of her body had become hyper-sensitive. Tingles followed the trail of kisses Kathryn led to her collarbone, to her shoulder. 

Seven's breasts ached and she realized what she wanted – what she _needed_. She brought one hand to the back of Kathryn's head and gently urged her lower. Kathryn chuckled softly then lowered her mouth to Seven's chest compliantly. When her mouth closed over her nipple, Seven moaned, a sound she'd never made before. Her back arched slightly and she kept her hand firmly on the back of Kathryn's auburn head. 

Seven's mind felt pleasantly fuzzy as Kathryn's tongue teased her nipple. Then Kathryn began to use her hands to stimulate more of her nerve endings, brushing lightly over her skin, up and down her body. 

“How does that feel, Seven?” Kathryn asked, her voice low and husky. The sound of her voice and the feel of her breath on her nipple sent a shiver through Seven and she felt herself grow wet between her legs. 

She was so overwhelmed by sensations, she forgot to answer until Kathryn looked up at her, her gray eyes quizzical. 

“Yes,” Seven said, then realized that wasn't a logical answer. “Good.”

Kathryn smiled briefly, then lowered her head to Seven's other breast and Seven moaned again. 

She continued to become more aroused by Kathryn's actions and was suddenly desperate to feel more of her body against her. She lay back on the wooden floor, pulling Kathryn down on top of her. Kathryn chuckled again, then moved down her body. Seven's eyes closed when she felt Kathryn's small hands sliding up and down her legs, gently nudging her thighs apart. Then she felt Kathryn's mouth on her inner thigh, kissing her gently, and she let out an involuntary whimper. 

“Are you okay, Seven?” Kathryn asked, looking up at her. 

“Y-...Something's happening,” she said, feeling a tightening in her lower abdomen. “I...need...”

“I know,” Kathryn whispered, her lips moving closer and closer to where Seven needed it most. 

Then, when Kathryn's lips brushed against her slit, Seven gasped. 

“This?” Kathryn asked and Seven groaned a yes. Kathryn brushed her slit again, then traced it with her tongue. Seven felt something surging deep inside of her and she let out a strangled sound. 

Kathryn backed away in concern, but Seven grabbed her head and pressed it back to her pelvic area. Kathryn's tongue went deeper, pushing past her lips to taste her. Seven squirmed and moaned as Kathryn licked her up and down repeatedly. Finally Kathryn's tongue touched her clitoris and her hips jerked erratically. 

“Sensitive?” Kathryn asked breathlessly. Seven couldn't speak, only nodded. Kathryn kissed her mound, then used one finger to stroke the sensitive skin around her opening. Seven gasped then groaned as Kathryn slipped that finger inside of her. 

“Kathryn,” she whimpered, arching her hips as Kathryn curled her finger inside of her. Then the pad of her finger brushed a spot inside of her that made Seven see stars behind her closed eyes. Then Kathryn's mouth was back on her clit, gently licking circles around the swollen bundle of nerves. 

Her body began to tremble, she felt the muscles in her lower abdomen begin to tighten and release. Waves of pleasure coursed through her. Kathryn continued to lick, her finger moving inside of her while Seven moaned loudly. 

Her entire body was in a state she'd never known existed. She'd only had assimilated knowledge of human orgasms, had never experienced one herself. This...this was like coming apart and being put back together in another universe where pleasure was all that existed. A state of true Perfection. 

As her body returned to its normal state, Seven forced her eyes open. She found herself looking up into Kathryn's soft gray eyes. She drew air deep into her lungs, trying to return her respiration to normal. 

“How was that?” Kathryn murmured, lowering her head to kiss her lips lightly. 

“Perfect, Kathryn. Absolute Perfection.”


	10. Chapter 10

Seven watched her lover slumbering in her arms. They'd exhausted themselves in the hayloft and after her third orgasm Kathryn had fallen asleep. Seven just held her, enjoying the feel of her body, the sound of her soft, even breaths. She was enamored with the color of Kathryn's hair, the curve of her jaw, the way she smelled. 

Seven felt reborn, as if the last vestiges of her time as a drone had been stripped away. This was what being human was all about. 

Kathryn's eyes fluttered open to find hers and Seven smiled. 

“You're still here,” Kathryn whispered, sounding relieved. 

“Yes, Kathryn. And I always will be. ...I love you.”

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally done! Y'all thank SevenOfMine for pushing me to get this done tonight. 
> 
> New fic coming soon I hope.


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